Puzzle of Me

I am
A puzzle
A hodge podge collection of different pieces
That somehow
Click together
To form a landscape
Of colors
From dark somber hues of black and grey
To the brightest colors of a summer day

Like a puzzle
I am
Easily broken apart
Into a thousand little shapes
But readily put back together again
Although it takes time
To find the scattered pieces
And figure out where they fit
Into the picture of my life

You broke me apart
When you walked away
You thought
I would be okay
You were sure
That, with time,
I would somehow manage
To put myself back together
Although I said I never could

Just a puzzle, I am
Beginning to figure out
How my pieces come together
To form my life's bigger picture
As I work I start to think
You were right
Perhaps, with time,
All the pieces will fall
Back in place

But the closer I get
To cleaning up this mess
Of my life
The more puzzle pieces
I put in place
The clearer it becomes
That something is wrong
With this picture
I'm building

Then I discover
That when you left
You took the pieces of my heart
With you
And no matter
How much time passes me by
No matter
How hard I try to forget you and I
I still need those pieces to finish the puzzle

This puzzle of me
Will always be beautiful
In its own broken way
But it can never
Be complete
Without you here
I can never be okay
Without the pieces
You took away

Morning Reflection

The morning sun
Wakes me up
As I inhale deep breaths
Of Life
The essence of creation
Of Hope
The gift of your Spirit
Of Love
The very fiber of Your being

Your Life
Moves through me
Stirring my sleeping spirit
To awake
From its deadly slumber
And arise from this soft bed
Of worldly desires and pursuits
To walk in the fullness of your Plans
And be renewed in your abundant Life

Your Hope
Is a tiny seed
Fallen in the crumbled dust
Of my ruined life
Taking root in my very soul
It grows quickly
Pushing upwards
Toward the light of your Son
Filling me with Joy inexplicable

Your Love
Cannot be contained
In this fragile broken vessel of my heart
It overcomes me
Overfills me
A shining rushing river of You
Spilling out around me
In an unstoppable flood
Of never ending Love

And as my spirit quickens with Life
And Hope grows within my soul
As I am resurrected in You
Overwhelmed with the joy of your Love
I can begin to feel your gentle hands at work
Picking up the pieces of my damaged heart
Healing the devastation
I never thought could be repaired
Turning my tears to laughter with the wonder of
Your Life
Your Hope
Your Love
YOU

 "He heals the brokenhearted
  And binds up their wounds."  -Psalm 147:3

"Now hope does not disappoint, 

 because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts 

 by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

                                                                     -Romans 5:5

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; 
 there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. 
 There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."
                                                                             -Revelations 21:4

Shinyness

"I'm glad you're starting to feel better Marissa :)  You have such a shinyness-filled
personality, and it's all the more shiny when you are in high spirits! Maybe all
the extreme shine will help inspire people around you to feel better like you have for
me before ^_^" -Chris

That's an excerpt from one of the top three texts I have ever received (and definitely
the longest).  Whenever I start feeling down I just have to read that and everything
will seem a little more shiny.  <3  Besides when you remember this:

"The love of God has been poured into our hearts by his Spirit living in us, alleluia."

It's hard not to shine because we have such a gloriously shiny reason to.  We are
children of God and, believe it or not, he loves us.   <3

Through a Child's Eyes

A while back I posted this: to my Mom: which contained a poem written by my sister, 1artlovingirl. I happened to read the first of those poems to my 3 year old brother and he loved it.  He kept wanting it read to him over and over again.  This is his translation:


Falling bright like a raindrop

If I was an apple
I would be so happy to be to be your tree.

If I was a poem
I would be happy to be your stream.

Move you on

These rough edges.

Travel Weary

Here I am.  Sitting at Gate 75 of Liberty International Airport in Newark, New Jersey.  And I am so tired.  My head hurts.  My eyes hurt.  My knees hurt.  And of course my bottom hurts from so much sitting.  I am surrounded by strangers and unfamiliar faces.  Alone in a sea of humanity.  I feel rumpled and sweaty and stained and it seems that at last my body feels just like my heart....ever so weary....and yet the journey has just begun.

His Words

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
 Nor have entered into the heart of man
 The things which God has prepared for those who love Him."
                                                                 -1 Corinthians 2:9

heartbroken.

Today is the saddest day in my life.  In books it always sounds romantic when a person loves someone else so much that they are willing to let them go, but in real life it's just tragic.  I feel like I'm dead inside.  My heart is broken and I'll never be okay again.