Running out of Love

       People sometimes speak of "falling out of love", but it's always been a concept that eluded my grasp.  However, there is another issue involving "out of love" that I do sometimes worry about.  On occasion, I feel that, if I'm not careful, one day I'll run out of love.  I'll just wake up and be so tired and so sad and so completely empty inside that I won't have any more love to keep on giving away, not to my friends or family or anybody at all.  
       You see, there are some people that I have a hard time loving because, to be completely honest, I just don't like them very much, but it's not this kind of love that I'm worried will dry me up.  The love that I really struggle with is loving someone who is hard to love.  It may seem like a subtle difference, the difference between having a hard time loving someone and loving someone who is hard to love, and perhaps it is, yet it's an important distinction nonetheless.  The former is annoying, certainly, but the latter is just difficult, so very difficult.
       All I can do is just keep on and keep on and keep on.  I try to stay strong and I know I need to let myself be sustained and filled by Christ's love, but sometimes I just want to hear that one person say, "I love you, too."  I want to hear those words so badly that it seems if I can't, if I don't, I'll just shrivel up and die inside.  
       Today, I had a conversation with one of my mentors that made me think that perhaps the shriveling up and dying part of my story is a lot farther into the future than it sometimes feels.  My mentor said something that touched me quite deeply and her sweet spirit gave her words a lasting impact.


"I'll always love you. Even if you mess up, I will still love you and adore you."


       And, just like that, I realized that the idea of running out of love is as absurd as the idea of falling out of love.  It can't happen, because real love isn't like that.  "Love suffers long and is kind...love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 
       So, my dearest person in the whole world, I will always love you.......with a love that never runs out.......even if you mess up.  I will only ever love you more.