I thought I could always do what needed to be done no matter how much it hurt.
Now, for the first time in my life, I am tempted to quit simply because this hurts so bad.
I never imagined that anything could be so torturous for so very long.
I guess I was just naive, young and foolish some would say, but I thought time itself would numb my heart.
It has become painfully obvious that either time has failed me or I am failing miserably at waiting for enough to pass me by.
I can hardly bare it anymore.
I am drowning in this swamp of sorrow and doubt, pulled under by the weight of my own despair.
I try to shrug it off, to stand strong, to make it through, but I just can't seem to gather the strength.
My trust in you is shaken and I have neither the heart to believe you nor the heart to reject you.
I can only pray that God will give me the heart to love you, unrequited, for as long as need be.
I can only pray that God will give me the heart to love you, unrequited, for as long as need be.
That He will give me the faith to trust that this time your words are as real as the pain I carry with me each day.
So you take the pain, and you push beyond it. The pain will remain, but you need to become bigger than the pain. If you don't take the pain in, it will crush you and render you immobile.
ReplyDeleteYou put one foot in front of the other, because the alternative is to curl into a tiny ball and let the sadness take you. You say, "F--k you!' and punch it in the face and step over it's body, because the past will keep you from moving forward if you let it.
But there's no shame in finding a ear to cry into, if you need to.
Thank you, Jamie. "You say, "F--k you!' and punch it in the face and step over it's body" so good. :) The world is my ear and cry into it I most certainly do.
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