flashback

Tonight, as I unpacked my bags from Cali and repacked them for Oahu I ended up sorting through the contents of an assortement of bags and backbacks.  During this process of emptying and rearranging, I stumbled across a crumpled index card.  On it was a few lines I jotted down sometime in the wee hours of the morning back in July of 2010.  I found it interesting and somewhat encouraging to find that, over a year after I wrote the words and three months after finally hearing the crushing answer to the "question", my heart has not changed.

"Midnight comes and goes

 I cannot bring myself to sleep

 Uncertainty haunts my footsteps 

 What does the future hold?

 I do not know.

 I wait for the answer to a question

 A question I did not pose and have already answered

 I wish I knew what to expect, but only God does.

 And then there are those three words

 Three words I long to hear, but only from him

 So I wait and hope and pray for the right time to come soon.

 Please, Lord, give me your patience, grant me your grace, and let me be filled with your peace. 

 I am yours, now and forever.  Be with me.

 I love you, Jesus, but only 'cause you loved first."