When Dreams ARE True

Last night, I was chatting with Chris on Skype and he wanted to know why I was invisible.  I, half jokingly and half seriously, said I was attempting to hide from the world.  Later, after I had watched Nathan, once again, come online and then leave again without saying, 'hi' or even replying to my emails, I posted this as my status.  "Who knew staying in touch was such a one-sided proposition?" which precipitated the following conversation.

CHRIS- marissssssssssa

your status sounds unhappy

me- ahhh....yes. it is.

CHRIS- :( that's nooo good

me- no worries.  it's fine.  some people are just lame...that's all

CHRIS- well, you are not lame. so!  SMILES AND RAINBOWS!

U R A STAR

me- likewise...you're so good at cheering me up  :D  .....anyways....I think I'm gonna go to bed.....sleeping is a VERY good way to hide from the world....especially when you're so super sleepy that you won't dream....and I'm very sleepy

CHRIS- thanks for cheering up!  good night and enjoy your sleep-escape

Note the highlighting?  That is the key point.  I was so tired that I felt quite sure that if I just went to sleep I could spend at least a few hours untroubled by thoughts of Nathan.  So much for that idea.  I dreamed about him all night, but, for some reason, it was a good dream.  He didn't really say much to me and nothing really happened.  There was just one point in the dream that stood out to me.  Nathan turned towards me, looked me in the eyes, and said something about waiting or "keeping things for later".  I wish I could remember exactly how he said it because it was so absolutely perfect and very similar to things he has told me in the past.  Nathan's words may elude me, but the feelings they evoked are as vivid as can be.  I felt such a surge of trust in him and love for him.  His words were a clear reminder of all the reasons why waiting is worth it, why I love him so much, and why things might finally work out in the end.  I did not "escape" in my sleep, but I woke with hope and that is ever so much better.